Modeling Respect
Source/Author: Mike Murphy, Headmaster
October 07, 2016
“Do as I say, not as I do.” How often has an insightful child or teen had this thought?
Our community overwhelmingly selected the value of Respect as a Core Value for all members to embrace. For most people I know, respect is a nurture need that is as basic as our need for food, water and clothing. How are the adults in the community modeling the value of respect?
When observing a talented Experiential School teacher listen carefully to a 3-year-old and a 4-year-old, I see the development of a respectful relationship. Similarly, when that same teacher tells that same child, “I’m talking to Mary right now, you need to wait,” respect is being taught and modeled for both children.
The Experiential School is a laboratory for observing how respect is taught and learned. I am not the first educator to observe that the lessons learned in the early years of school set the stage for future behavior. Learning how to share, to listen, to wait your turn, to resolve conflicts without fighting are lessons that serve people of all ages.
Where do children observe the adults in their lives modeling respect? Meal time, coming and going to school, athletic events, and in the use of various media may be common times when young children observe their parents/guardians. During class, at break time, in assembly and at school events are common times students observe their teachers, coaches and directors. Are we aware of the impact our behavior is having on our children?
The “Hidden Curriculum” of a school is the one that is reflected in the culture, spirit, traditions and day-to-day practices. Do students and families feel like the school is a place where they belong? Is school a home away from home? Do students treat each other with respect when the adults are not around? Are efforts made to ensure that the voices of all people may be heard? I am sure similar questions could be asked about time spent at each of our homes. Do we stop and evaluate whether the hidden curriculum nurtures, supports and expects respect to be demonstrated?
Awareness is an important step in making any behavior or value become an element of a culture. Parents, teachers and students have always desired respect to be a value embraced by our community. Now that we have determined the five Core Values we want our community to model, we have the perfect opportunity to increase our consciousness of how and when we model the behavior we desire to see.
I encourage all adults and students in our community to consider how we can ensure that members of our community model respect and that our community is known as a place where you will experience respectful relationships and interactions.
Cheers!
Mike
