Welcome Back Part II
Source/Author: Mike Murphy, Headmaster
August 28, 2015
Last week in Ebytes, I shared suggestions from our experienced faculty regarding the behaviors they have observed in parents who have successful children. While we all know there is no “One Size Fits All” in the rearing and education of children and teens, there are some behaviors that may lead to positive results.
The following seven ideas, contributed by members of the faculty, all who are parents, are offered in support of our partnership with all of you.
- Model the behavior you want to see in your children. They are always watching even when you do not think they are.
- If your child feels overwhelmed or is struggling in a class, encourage him or her to reach out to the teacher for help. Work with the teacher to find solutions early in the year. Avoid the potential trap of jumping to a tutor rather than having the child learn that extra effort with their teacher can lead to positive results.
- Communicate the message that school is a priority and that their education is important.
- Include children in responsibilities at home that allow them to consider the needs of others.
- Compliment and encourage effort. If you have not read "Mindset" by Carol Dweck, you may want to pick it up.
- Discuss your family’s values.
- Be there. Having a helicopter or snowplow parent is not essential for children to become successful. At the same time, children who are supported for the work and activities in which they are engaged, benefit from knowing that parents/guardians and other adults know what they are doing.
During the summer, one of my friends who is a counselor engaged me in a conversation about the difference between balance and balancing. He maintained that parenting, education and healthy living for adults and children requires a balancing of our needs rather than to have balance in our activities. His point is that at different times in our lives our needs can shift and healthy people are balancing those needs to ensure physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional health, to name just a few. When, in the name of balance, we rigidly pack activities into our daily lives without consideration of the changing priorities of those around us, we create disequilibrium.
Parenting - like teaching - is a continuous effort of balancing actions, words and expectations in an effort to meet the needs of our children, our families, our community and ourselves. Every time we fly we are reminded about the importance of putting on our oxygen masks before we attempt to help others with theirs. We are not being told to be selfish or neglectful. Rather, we are reminded that we are better able to serve our children and others when we have taken care of ourselves.
All of our Shorecrest parents, teachers and staff begin a new school year focused on serving our children so they can become the best people possible. We want them to Be More because we know they have great potential and we want the best for them. At the same time, the adults in the community need to be mindful of the importance of taking care of themselves. I trust we will nurture and support each other with the same enthusiasm as we strive to serve our children and students.
Cheers!
Mike
