SOS… Support our Seniors!

It is that time of year when our seniors are receiving responses from their college applications. It can be a nerve-racking time for them and probably for many of their parents as well. Last year, my brother went through the process with his youngest son. His son is an excellent student academically, had all of the requisite extra-curriculars such as service trips and other volunteer work, has interests that he pursued outside of academics - such as band, is an incredible skate-boarder who had corporate sponsorships, and is a gifted videographer whose portfolio of work was impressive and award-winning.

My brother described the gut-wrenching process that they went through and how little his son communicated with him. I remember my brother using the word “we” when he was referring to the process his son was going through. My brother was so invested in the process and concerned for his son that even he was getting anxiety! (Perhaps this sounds familiar to some of our senior parents?)  As one rejection letter came through, then another wait-list came through, the angst for my brother grew to epic proportions. It likely was just as bad for his son, but because his son is not the kind of person who offers emotional status updates very often, it was difficult to know whether he was anxiety-ridden or apathetic.

On average, our Shorecrest seniors have each applied to seven colleges. Twenty applications over-all were early-decision, meaning that if the student is admitted, the admission is binding. A number of the members of the class of 2015 received early admission acceptances. Most are now getting responses to their applications, assessing financial aid packages, comparing offerings of the different colleges, and managing disappointment if they did not get admitted in to what they felt was their “first choice” college.

A recent article in the New York Times by Frank Bruni details the experience of three students who went through this process and the emotional turmoil that accompanied it. In the case of one student, his parents had the foresight to anticipate the roller-coaster and long before had written him a letter that they planned to give to him on the eve of receiving his first college response. They wanted him to know that they did not equate his worth to the college that he was admitted to and that they would “celebrate with joy” wherever he got accepted.

I asked Tiffany Meertins, our Director of College Counseling, for her take on Bruni’s article. She appreciated the author’s point and went on to add that the message might also be extended to parents (like my brother, perhaps). Her letter would read:

 

Let’s have empathy for our seniors (and their parents) at this time of year and celebrate their children’s high school careers. All of our seniors WILL be admitted to college. They have worked hard and had many accomplishments. We are extremely proud of them and grateful to their parents for their partnership throughout the process. And as their children make their college decisions and head off next fall, know that they will be well-prepared for this next step in their education because they have had such tremendous support from Shorecrest. We look forward to hearing from them after they are well in to their first year of college to know how they are doing and to keep them connected to fellow Shorecrest alumni.

As for my nephew, well, he is just about to finish his freshman year of college—not at any of the schools that he originally thought were his “first-choice.” He is incredibly happy, however, and enjoying his classes at a school where he is able to pursue his passion for video and that recognized that he would be a great fit for their program. Perhaps if he had to go through the process again, knowing what he knows now, this school would be his first choice! And incidentally, my brother and sister-in-law are also thrilled!