The Blessing of a Skinned Knee - Book Recommendation

Of the many people who enter my office or seek my support over the course of a school year, a significant portion are parents who are feeling anxious and unsuccessful with their children. Despite their efforts to encourage their children to express their feelings, to provide for their wants and needs abundantly, and to educate them on the reasons for household rules, these parents often feel that they are losing control. These are good parents, and yet conflict is the norm in the home. The parents see their children as angry and demanding, despite the parents’ efforts to provide tons of attention and entertainment for them.

 

One of my favorite books on this topic is Dr. Wendy Mogel’s The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. While the book draws on the wisdom of Jewish tradition, it offers useful ideas and a return to sanity for parents of any faith who are trying to uphold their own values in a culture of fear, materialism, and self-interest. The book gives us hope for raising self-reliant, ethical, and compassionate children in today’s world. Dr. Mogel’s fundamental proposition is that children develop character and learn mastery by being allowed to fall and “skin their knees.” Over the next few weeks, I will share key concepts and strategies from the book.

 

Dr. Mogel doesn’t present a foolproof plan for parenting, rather she gives a fresh perspective on how we can view our world and our families. She offers guidance for working through the dilemmas of everyday life in this difficult world of ours. This week I share her ‘Principles of Parenting’, with the intention that each week we will take closer look at these principles and how to apply them in a practical setting.

 

Would you be surprised to learn that children who are raised with indulgence often grow up to feel unlovable, to require constant affirmation, to lack some basic life skills, and to lack self-sufficiency? Check back next week to explore Dr. Mogel’s take on indulging our children.