The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: The Blessing of Food
Source/Author: Kate Fierce
November 06, 2014
Mealtime has lost its importance in many homes. Busy families often forgo family meals at the table in favor of catching something quick on the run. Other parents engage in power struggles at the table about what their child will and will not eat. Even in families where time to eat and what to eat are decided without conflicts, dinnertime can become a place for everyone to unload the day’s detritus, devolving into a complaint session.
The loss of the American family dinner is detrimental to American kids. The list of benefits that regular family dinners together can provide reads almost like a miracle cure: better academic performance, higher self-esteem, a greater sense of resilience, lower risk of depression, lower risk of substance abuse, and a lower risk of eating disorders or obesity. The family dinner table can actually be a place of fulfillment in our lives. It is a place where our children can learn lessons of moderation, celebration, and satisfaction.
One way to encourage your family to eat with moderation and with maximum pleasure is to sanctify mealtime. Sitting around the table with others ensures that we will spend at least some amount of time conversing and connecting with each other. Saying a blessing that holds meaning for your family can also help by forcing the family to slow down and reflect on the meal set before them. Preparing healthy foods but allowing occasional treats for pleasure or celebration can help children to learn moderation. Taking the time to really taste the food, appreciate the cook, and count your blessings can turn a regular dinner into an opportunity to experience deep satisfaction with life.
In The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Dr. Wendy Mogel encourages parents to maximize their enjoyment of dinner. She recommends lighting candles regularly, enjoying a glass of wine or other special beverage slowly, relaxing, and focusing on enjoying your meal. “Concentrate on your blessings and invite your child to do the same. He may catch the spirit.”
Below you’ll find some changes that families can make to bring back family dinner. For other great suggestions, including family conversation topics and ways of encouraging and involving children of all ages, check out the following link: http://thefamilydinnerproject.org/resources/faq/
- Create a peaceful environment for eating. The point is not elaborate preparation but breaking bread together and eating it in a peaceful environment. Create rituals. Light a candle, even daily. Talk about your day and encourage your child to talk about hers.
- Sit down and take your time. While this may not be possible for every meal, it’s important to stop multi-tasking and focus on the people around you. Heighten gratitude and family pleasure by eating together as often as you can. (Dr. Mogel suggests that younger children can have an early dinner when they are hungry, but can still participate in the family dinner as conversational partners and ritual participants.)
- Remember that not everyone has enough to eat. Consider connecting eating with giving. Dr. Mogel relates that her family put a little money in a jar before each meal that would later be donated to a food pantry or homeless shelter. Children love to help in tangible ways, so enlist their enthusiasm and do something for those who have less.
- Use a blessing as a consciousness-raising tool. Practicing gratitude as a family helps us to stop and think about what we DO have, rather than what we don’t.
Come back next week to read about the Blessing of Self-Control, or how to channel intensity in children. You can also catch up on this article series by clicking the links below:
Article 1: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee
Article 2: Overindulgence
Article 3: Emotional Regulation
Article 4: Acceptance
Article 5: Having Someone to Look Up To
Article 6: Over-protectiveness
Article 7: Gratitude
Article 8: Work
