The Blessing of Time
Source/Author: Kate Fierce
December 04, 2014
In modern times, so many families are constantly on the go! The children go to school. The parents go to work. The children have activities after school. The parents have social and professional commitments. The laundry must be done. Children expect to eat dinner each night. In the hustle and bustle of checking off the to-do list, transporting family members to and fro, and maintaining the family schedule, many families suffer from a lack of time together, and a lack of time to just decompress.
As Dr. Wendy Mogel states in The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, “Amid all the hurry, it’s hard for children to learn essential life skills: vegging out, contemplating life, relieving boredom by entertaining themselves, and feeling a general sense of peace and contentment.” Indeed, it’s hard for adults to practice those skills, too!
As Dr. Wendy Mogel states in The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, “Amid all the hurry, it’s hard for children to learn essential life skills: vegging out, contemplating life, relieving boredom by entertaining themselves, and feeling a general sense of peace and contentment.” Indeed, it’s hard for adults to practice those skills, too!
In the wisdom of the Jewish tradition, time is a resource to be utilized but also a treasure to be enjoyed. This means that we can see time as an opportunity to make the most of the quality of our lives and also to enjoy calm and restorative peace. Perhaps there is a lesson there for families of all faiths, as we rush through our hurried lives. In order to use our time well, we need to protect it as carefully as we guard our children’s health and education. As Mogel says, when we guard our time, we are offering our children something that no money can buy. “We are offering them ourselves, and we are showing them the path to a rich and meaningful life.”
Dr. Mogel lists some suggestions for guarding your time and ensuring that all members of your family have room for downtime in their schedules:
- Create some “holy down time” at your house. Unplug the phone and make certain times “protected time” for your family. Maybe it’s an uninterrupted dinner hour, time alone with your spouse, protected time at bedtime, a night with no television, or Saturday morning breakfasts together. Find some time that is just for you and your family and protect it with fierce devotion and commitment.
- Find time to connect. Children hunger for being listened to, more than anything. If we are always distracted, we’re only half there, and our kids know it. They’ll stop talking. As Catherine M Wallace has written, “Listen earnestly to anything [your children] want to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.” Listening to the little stuff requires us to slow down and be present.
- Let your children dawdle once in a while. Try to balance high-pressure time with time that is leisurely. Leave plenty of time for bedtime rituals.
- Don’t do things you hate. When spending “quality time” together, do things that both you and your child enjoy.
- Make sure your children have the chance to get bored. Children need a chance to build up their “boredom tolerance muscle.” Treat daydreaming and fooling around as valuable activities. Examining life takes time.
- Guard time for childhood. Children are being pushed and enticed into growing up too quickly. Treat a seven-year-old child for what he or she is, just seven. Protect childhood innocence.
Read next week about The Blessing of Faith and Tradition, or how to encourage your children to embrace your family’s traditions and values. Or catch up on this article series by clicking the links below:
Article 1: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee
Article 2: Overindulgence
Article 3: Emotional Regulation
Article 4: Acceptance
Article 5: Having Someone to Look Up To
Article 6: Over-protectiveness
Article 7: Gratitude
Article 8: Work
Article 8: Food
Article 9: Self-Control
